“You used to be so smart”, “Why are you unenthusiastic about School?”, “Se gbogbo wa dara?” And after all this questions your attitude towards school and school induced learning remains sour. Instead of trying to figure out the problem, you’re now an underage drinker and rolling a blunt to avoid the obvious. If that is your story (definitely not mine ;)) then you and probably a lot of other people are having a case of ‘gifted kid burnout’.
Sounds funny, but most likely true. The ‘gifted kid burnout’ isn’t just some online community of people that resonated with the phrase. Davidson Institute defines gifted kid burnout as ‘…chronic exhaustion that stems between the individual and their current educational environment’. But that’s not always the case. A simpler definition comes from the Urban Dictionary defines it as, “when children who were once considered the ‘gifted’ or ‘smart kids’ in class grow up to underperform academically and likely socially…often have problems socializing, having poor mental health, and resort to drinking/drugs or other forms of escapism.”
The kid that usually got an average of 95%(a lot higher than the whole class average), participated in every competition regardless of the discipline, first in line to be chosen for public speaking events and de facto captain of the debate team. The kid that averagely excelled in sports and has never had a face to face conversation with failure or doesn’t understand what average is. Being spoon fed praises like “you have so much potential” or “people like you can’t fail in life”. Fast forward three-five years and they are now facing existential crisis, struggling with submitting to authorities and finding it difficult to complete menial academic tasks. The kid is probably not failing, but the drop in grades and motivation is obvious to most people. Most people do not even realize what is happening to them, to people from the outside it’s a temporary phase or he/she is just acting out. There is no clear goal in the kid’s mind, no drive, no fire in the eyes. The kid is tired, exhausted and burnt out.
A younger me experienced some sort of burnout. I didn’t see myself as genius level but I was sure I was beyond gifted, not ordinary, a subtle difference between but the two words but the distinction is clear. After playing the role of the naturally intelligent kid for so long, all of a sudden something snapped, there was no urge to keep on going. To begin with, I never truly got good grades for myself; neither did I strive to be a stellar student for my own accord or to prove something, I was just told to get good grades, and in return I got the praises of those around me. It became normal to reply “oh, it’s nothing” or “I don’t know, it just comes naturally” when people asked about me doing so well or about being intelligent. I started to believe it was just that, something easy.
Then, when faced with an obstacle I could not cross, I fell. There was no way around it. I had made myself believe the intelligence came easy, so experiencing failure for the first time did not sit well with me, especially when the so called ‘average kids’ where getting ahead of me. My grades started to plummet, because I never developed a reading habit or way to learn I could not pick myself up. I started to give up on academics all together; playing truant, neglecting my grades and being lackadaisical with my school work. The change started to become more and more obvious, especially when i started picking fights with teachers, people in authority including my parents. Without the praises and the good grades, it was like I was an entirely different person. Even going as far as changing life goals and switching courses because I was looking for something easier.
So what actually causes this burnout?
Unneccsassry Pressure from Society
Because of their unique mental makeup, gifted are well advanced for their age intellectually but it doesn’t mean they are also emotionally advanced. Some find it difficult to handle the massive amount of pressure put on them or the unbelievable expectations placed on them causing them in most situations to crack and falter when they cannot measure up to the insane demands of teachers, parents and society in general.
Anxiety and mental health
Gifted kids most times have idealistic views or have very a strong sense of fairness, thus when faced with the harsh realities and their inability to change it. They are the ones to usually notice or think about human beings futile existence or how insignificant they may be in an infinite universe. All this are more causes anxiety and greatly affects their mental health, causing them to lose interest in all things and burning out.
Stress and mental exhaustion
Like most cases of burnout, stress accumulation overtime and mental exhaustion play a huge role and this is no exception. When the work load becomes more they can handle and they begin to have less and less interval of rest and breaks, it leads to mental fatigue and it affects their performance. A few spell of downs is enough to break their spirits for a long time or forever.
Lack of mentally and physically stimulating activities
Gifted kids need to be continually kept proactive mentally and physically. When they begin to feel that exams or learning are becoming too easy, they have started falling prey to the burnout. Lack of challenges or competitions in their school work makes them lose interest in it.
Signs that someone may be a victim of gifted kid burnout
Although there are no clear indicators or medical tests to prove someone is suffering from gifted kid burnout or syndrome, (except the occasional gifted kid burnout bingos ad such) there are few red flags to take notice of.
1) Reoccurring pattern of disengaging from their usual activities.
2) The person feels hopeless or pessimistic towards their future.
3) Emotional detachment from family and close friends.
4) Lack of drive to the point of being able to complete chores and even obligations towards themselves.
5) Sense of dread or change of mood towards school, learning, clubs and other activities.
How To Beat The Burnout
The problem the gifted kid burnout poses is quite serious but that does not mean we’d be a lot better without gifted people. The solution is not to kill of the term gifted but to create safe spaces where they can comfortably grow and express themselves, and utilise their gifts to the max without being caged to societal pressure and expectations.
Building their emotional vocabulary and emotional intelligence while young so that they will be able to express how they feel, or if they are stuck in the blues. They should be thought while striving for success, failure is inevitable and not just an excuse to give up but a chance to grow. Engaging them in stimulating activities and adding meaning back to their work to avoid them getting bored of learning or feeling it has become too easy
They should be made aware that although they are well ahead of their mates now, there would be times when some would catch up and others might overtake, and that’s not a bad thing, it just means they just have to continue working hard.
And to those of us, the former gifted kids, that have already given up, it is going to take a lot of work to come out of the void and the overcome the burnout. So let’s remember to take it a step at a time, we’ll eventually make it. There’s no need to rush and if you can’t handle it alone, there’s always someone like you that can be of help.